Job 5:18

Job 5:18

"For He wounds, but He also binds up; He injures, but His hands also heal."

Why do we wander through the wilderness?

                                           So that we find the Promise Land

Why do we go through famine?

                                           So we can have a harvest.

Why are we consumed by the fire?

                                           So life can be renewed.

Why are we wounded?

                                           So we can be healed.

Why do we experience winter?

                                           So we are blessed even more by the summer.

Why do we walk through darkness?

                                           So the light is so much brighter.

Why does everything change? 

                                           So we cling to the One who doesn't.

We experience the bad so that God's good is so much better.

God allows us to be broken so that He can reveal Himself as the ultimate healer.

He allows us to wander through the wilderness so that He can prove that He never forgot His promises.

He knows that without the darkness, we would never notice His light.

He knows that without the winter, we wouldn't appreciate His summer.

He knows that the only way to be renewed is through the fire. 

He knows that the regrowth is so much more beautiful when it comes from ashes. 

And He loves revealing Himself in the end. 

We're always surprised when He shows up. But He's not. 

He does it on purpose. His heart breaks with ours, but His joy abounds with ours when He gets to put the pieces back together in front of our awestruck eyes. 

He wrote the end of the story, along with every step it takes to get there. So why are we surprised when we realize that the steps we took really did have a purpose? Why are we surprised when He works it out?

He wants to empty us  of ourselves, so He can fill us to overflowing with Him.

He wants to make us so sick and tired of the food of this world that we realize our deeper hunger for Him. 

Through the healing of our broken hearts, they learn to beat for Him. 

We're out of breath from running away, so that His breath of life can fill our lungs. 

Our broken bones make us immobile so that He can carry us.

We hunger so He can satisfy.

We fall so He can pick us up.

We search so He can be found.

And we get lost so He can find us. 

God created the cycles of this life as a direct parallel to His everlasting love for us. So often we are blinded by the circumstances, and fail to see His plan being unfolded through them. 

Hallelujah.

And I saw, without really seeing that people are beautiful.

I love people watching. 
And I recently noticed that I look at people, but I don't see them.


I love smiling at strangers. 
I'll walk around campus or Walmart, and smile at everyone I walk by because I like the temporary joy I may give them; I like that I make them feel special, like they've been seen, even if it's for just a moment... but I never reallysee at them. 


Yes, I make eye contact and notice what they're wearing, how they walk, facial features, etc, but am I going to remember them the next time I smile at them on campus? Probably not. 


The other night, my soccer team and I were sitting around joking and talking. As we were laughing I looked at one of them, seeing her for the first time. I was so surprised that I hadn't before, I mean, I've been around her for almost 2 months. But there she was, the same person as every other time I'd looked at her, and I was seeing her for the first time. And I realized there was so much to see. So much that I had been too busy to notice, or too careless to make the effort to take in. 


I love people. And I'm disappointed that this has become a habit for me. 


Mostly, I hate airports because they stress me out, but the people in airports fascinate me. I want to know where they're going and why, where they're coming from and why, and who they're traveling with and why. 
Even driving around town, I see cars and wonder the same thing. Is their reason as simple as mine? Or is it much more interesting?




Everyone has a story. 
Everyone has something weighing on their mind. 
Everyone loves someone, hates someone, loves something, hates something. 
Everyone is so much more than what you look at on the outside. 
But if you really see someone, you'll see that they're just like you.
When you see someone, you see that you're really not alone in this world. 
You see that they're made up of cells and atoms, and wonderfully complex parts just like you. 
You see that they have a beating heart, broken maybe, or maybe perfectly content. 
You see that they have a mind with synapses, memories, emotions, etc, all different from anyone else in the universe. 
You see that they have opinions, beliefs, reasons, and motives. 
You see that they have a countless number of hairs on their body, a pigment that can never be exactly matched or recreated. 
You see that they have wrinkles, on their brow or on their cheek that hold stories of every frown they've ever frowned, and every smile they've ever smiled. 
You see that they're walking, going somewhere, toward a goal, toward a destination. 
You see that they have dreams, and wishes, and hopes, and prayers. 
You see that their feet and hands are calloused from years of hard, or not so hard, work.
You see that they have eyes that observe, scan, blink, cry, perceive, and speculate. Eyes nonidentical to any other. Eyes hard or soft, with stories. Eyes that are the window to their soul, the deepest part of their being. 
You see that they have senses. They look at scenes, they hear sounds, they touch textures, they smell scents, they taste flavors, and their perception of each of those things may be completely different than your own. 
You see that they're breathing. Their body requires oxygen to survive just like yours does.
You see that there are so many things unseen. Their struggles, their pain, their guilt. It's all there beneath the layers of clothing. 


You see that they walk, make eye contact, flash a simple smile, felt or fake, and they don't see you either. 




Wow, I feel small. All this time I foolishly thought without really thinking that I was the only one. But I'm just one in a sea of faces longing to be seen.

Bad Posture

I have really bad posture.


I slouch. And I lose my balance a lot. 


Every once in a while I'll remember to fix it. I pull my shoulders back, elongate my spine, and put my head on straight. Then, when it starts to hurt, or I get too lazy, or I just forget, I go right back to slouching. 


In the literal sense, that's completely true. It's also true for me in the spiritual sense:


I slouch and lose my balance. Every once in a while I'll realize and try to fix myself, then, because of laziness, discomfort, or forgetfulness, I go right back to walking around like a monkey.. 


My heart slouches. I don't like making it uncomfortable because that hurts.  

Psalm 97:11 

 Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.

My feet lose their balance. Because my heart slouches, I lose my way and trip. 

1 Corinthians 15:58 

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

If having good posture were my first priority, I wouldn't forget. Eventually, it would stop being uncomfortable and laziness would become unacceptable.  

I want an upright heart and firm unmoving feet. 

Psalm 37:23-24

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.

      He delights in every detail of their lives.

Though they stumble, they will never fall,

      for the Lord holds them by the hand.

What is Love?

not
I used to think you could only ever love one person in your life, romantically speaking.
So if you fall out of love, that means you never really loved the person in the first place.
But I've realized being "in love" is such a pop culture invention. For a long time I didn't understand that love is so much more than what Hollywood and magazines make it out to be.
I thought being in love was a feeling, based on how the person made you feel. Butterflies and smiles. But I see now that the love of that feeling can be disguised as love for another person.


Love is not feeling special.
Love is not feeling beautiful.
Love is not feeling loved.
Love is not a feeling.
And love is not a magical spell that once you're under, there's no reversing it. It's not even a temporary spell.


is
Being "in love" and loving someone, I think, are different.
Being "in love" with someone is so much deeper than that feeling. Being in love with someone means loving who they are, even the tiny little details that aren't visible to the naked eye. Being in love means you're committed to loving that person through thick and thin, "I'm in," so to say.


I think that being in love can be a feeling, though. If you pass the test of knowing the person deeply, and really loving their qualities, then feel away. What else are we gonna call that intense, wanna-scream,  can't-eat, can't- sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, world-series, kind of feeling? 


Loving someone is less emotional, more a decision. Sometimes you can't help being in love with someone. You can't help loving their laugh, or the way he/she thinks, or just the way they make you feel. But you can helploving someone. 
Love is a commitment.
Love is an action.
Love is a choice.
And loving someone is not easy, by any means.

1 Corinthians 13 

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It is not self-seeking. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice in evil but delights in the truth. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and always perseveres.

Well, I sure can't recall the last time I was able to treat someone in all those ways.
But, that's what loving someone is.




all in all
Love is capable of being a feeling if and when accompanied by commitment and action.
But love, in and of itself, is not a feeling or a spell. Love is a decision. 


And that's what I've learned about love. Romantic love, that is.
But who knows, really?


I do know
God is love, perfect love. The magnitude of his love is incomprehensible by my finite mind. And that's the love we try to mimic, and that''s the love we try to find everywhere else but the one place it can be found. 

Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.

The heart is such a strange organ. 
It beats. It feels. It attaches. It breaks. It heals. It gives life. 
It's so valuable, and we flaunt it with our chest wide open for the world to see. Hearts change. Hearts harden. Hearts are meant to be guarded, they weren't made to be broken. 


I think there comes a time in everyone's life when you decide to stop letting people hurt you. You decide that you don't deserve to be lied to, manipulated, used, and betrayed. You realize that sometimes you have the right to be selfish in relationships.
And you realize that love shouldn't hurt. 


People come and go. People leave marks on your heart, and sometimes just take the whole thing right out of you. People influence people. People hurt people. 


The heart can be a very dangerous weapon, or it can be the most effective tool.  


Our hearts were made to love... if only we knew how. 

Choose Wisely

We make choices, without realizing in that moment how much they affect the rest of our lives.






And if we thought a little longer about the outcome,


weighed the pros and cons,


considered the pain,


imagined our future, 


where would we be? Would we have made the same choice?


And if those choices hadn't been made,


would fate take over and make that choice for us anyway ? 




The choices we make reflect the person we are, and the person we're becoming. 
The choices we make affect so much more than we can see. It's a butterfly effect of chain reactions for all eternity. 


We look back at the big decisions, the small decisions, the bad ones and the good ones. And we may laugh. Or cry. Depending on how much time has passed.


And we can't help but wonder, what if?




Sometimes there's no possible way of predicting the outcome and we have to dive in head first to find out.


Sometimes the outcome is clear.
Sometimes the outcome is obviously bad, but we choose it anyway.
Sometimes the outcome is obviously good, so we take advantage of it.


Sometimes, we ignore the outcome completely, and make blind decisions based on what we want now. 


Those are the worst kind. 
Though they may bring temporary happiness, it always ends. 


Sometimes, when it does end, we still can't admit to ourselves that it was a bad decision, therefore preventing us from learning. 
Therefore causing us to make the same decision again. And again. Until we just don't care anymore. 




But as much as those mistakes sting down the road, 


how else would we experience the grace that erases them?


These choices we make may push people out of our lives that we never wanted out,


they may change our plans,


they may break our hearts,


they may cause some unwanted drama,


but what if that's the point of it all?




What if our potential is in the way we rise from the mess we've made?
What if beauty hides in the unwanted change of direction?
What if?




Don't you want to find out?