Someone Once Said...

"There are two kinds of people in this world; there are thinkers, and there are doers." -some wannabe philosopher 

Pretty self-explanatory. 
The thinkers think and tell the doers what to do,
and the doers do it without thinking.


But the world wouldn't function with just one or the other. If all the world contained were thinkers, nothing would get done. If all the world contained were doers, nothing would get thought, or innovated. 


The thinkers think they have it all figured out, but sit there and think about all the things they've figured out, not doing anything about it. They're the world's geniuses, the people that go down in history for their massive brain capacity, the people that hypothesize and theorize and synthesize.. These are the people that don't let anyone tell them what to do. Thinkers still do, they just think more.


The doers do what they're told, often because they're incapable of thinking for themselves; often because they're too afraid to be wrong; often because they're insecure or intimidated, but also, often they do it because they're not ashamed to let their minds be changed and to let themselves be a follower. Doers still think, they just do more. 


So which is better? Is there such thing as a person who thinks and does?
It's a cycle. We think then we do, we do then we think. Both necessary, both imperative to the circle of life. As with everything, it's all in the balance. 


It's wrong to let someone always tell you what to do. But it's equally as wrong to have all the answers and not do anything about it. 


"The world cares not what we know, but rather what we do with what we know."


I'm a doer. And I'm proud of it :)










"It's funny how things work." -the same wannabe philosopher 

Nothing worthwhile EVER comes easy

"The path of least resistance leads to crooked rivers and crooked men." - Henry David Thoreau


Sometimes... I'd just like to give up. 
Sometimes I look at the things I work toward and wonder why I bother trying if it's never going to get any easier. 
Why do I strive for integrity, morality, knowledge, talent and spirituality when I know I can never achieve perfection in any one of them?


Giving into my human nature would be so.much.easier. Letting what's been innately programmed into my being take over sounds so... freeing. For some reason that I've yet to understand, I was created to deny myself, and as everyone knows: that's not easy. I want ease. I want to go with the flow, for once. 


But that's weakness at it's finest. Giving up on what I know is right and worthwhile because I'm too tired and fed up to carry on is cheating myself of the rewards waiting at the end of the race. 


I don't think I could ever let myself give in. As tempting as a nice relaxing float down the stream of conformity sounds, fortunately, I've floated enough to know it's never worth it in the end. And before you know it you're much farther down the stream from the ultimate goal than you ever thought you'd be.

Thoughts of a single lady

"We must fight mediocrity, destroy complacency, and scoff at the thought of being called lukewarm."

Relationships are weird.

                      Who decided the steps?

You meet. You talk. You flirt. You date. You marry. You have kids. You die.

Who came up with dating? I think betrothal is a much better idea. 

Date: the time in which an event occurs. 

It seems strange to me that we would call a romantic evening, or scouting for a potential mate, the time in which an event occurs. I mean, I guess it makes sense, in a very literal sense, but there has to be a better word for it in the English language.

And dating? The time in which many events occur? Not exactly how I would explain an intimate and/or committed relationship.. But, I can't come up with a better word so I conform to pop culture's lingo.

And marriage?
Who decided it was essential to a happy life?
I would say sometimes it just causes more problems... In fact, Paul agrees with me:

1 Corinthians 7

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion... But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this."

Long story short, Paul and I agree that it is easier to give your undivided attention to the Lord when you don't have a wife nagging you or a husband ignoring you.

Sidenote: I understand not all marriages are this way, I have witnessed many happy and successful, loving marriages. And I'm not saying that I don't want to get married, because let's face it, that's basically all I want: to be a wife to the man of my dreams. 

We've been so brainwashed in our "American Dream" culture that the keys to a successful life are a 9-5 job, marriage, and children. 

Subject Change...

Beginning in pre-school, we're constantly asked what we want to be when we grow up. I always said a  mom because I thought that's all there was to life, marriage and children. 

And through elementary school, we're taught skills in all different categories so we can figure out what we're good at, capitalize on it, and use it to be a functioning member of society. 

And high school... We're forced to learn science, math, english, art, music, etc. We're put in gifted and talented programs, honors classes, and extra-curricular activities. We're judged on a grading system, and our success depends on this grading system and how well we conformed to it so we can be a part of this culture that we've been convinced is the only right way to live. 

Then there's college. Now our intelligence and success is based on a piece of paper. A degree stating we went to all the right classes, paid the right amount of money, and "learned" something, a certain skill, that will ultimately better society. 
Some people know their skills and how to use them without needing to go to college. Some people, like me, follow these rules and go to college hoping to find a skill. 

Don't get me wrong, education is imperative. It's beautiful and life-changing. But the brainwashing, and the conformity is not. 
Children in America dread going to school in the morning. Children in third-world countries long for the kind of education we take for granted daily. 

Our culture has taken beautiful things like love, marriage, reproduction, education, and success, and turned them into a rule and a guideline. Things that were privileges and blessings are now burdens and just "the way of life". 

Well, what if I'm not okay with conforming? What if I'm not satisfied with mediocrity? 
But what if I'm already so stuck that there's no escape? What if all I want to do is whole-heartedly serve my creator? Of course I don't have an answer, and I can't do anything to change the way things are. 

But I do know:
I don't want to be okay with living a life laid out for me by someone other than Christ. 
I don't want to be another mediocre face in the crowd. 
I don't want to not have God as my focus, because without Him, nothing would matter. 

I am more

Sometimes, other people sum it up so much better than we can. Definitely needed this today.

There's a girl in the corner 
With tear stains on her eyes 
From the places she's wandered 
And the shame she can't hide 

She says, "How did I get here? 
I'm not who I once was. 
And I'm crippled by the fear 
That I've fallen too far to love" 

But don't you know who you are, 
What's been done for you? 
Yeah don't you know who you are? 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

Well she tries to believe it 
That she's been given new life 
But she can't shake the feeling 
That it's not true tonight 

She knows all the answers 
And she's rehearsed all the lines 
And so she'll try to do better 
But then she's too weak to try 

But don't you know who you are? 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 

You've been remade. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

'Cause this is not about what you've done, 
But what's been done for you. 
This is not about where you've been, 
But where your brokenness brings you to 

This is not about what you feel, 
But what He felt to forgive you, 
And what He felt to make you loved. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

"You can't live for god until you learn how to live because of God.

You can't make good choices until you understand that the choices you make don't make you who you are. 

What Christ has done for you makes you who you are. 

Where we end up is not who we are.

Who we are is not what we do, but what has been done for us.

If you're good, you're more than your success. If you're bad, you're more than your failures.

You're more than your choices, you're more than your mistakes, you are the sum of the Father's love for us. And that's who we are. We're not struggling to be free. If we're in Christ, we're free to struggle."

-Mike Donehey

Lady in waiting

Isaiah 40: 28-31

Do you not know? 

   Have you not heard? 

The LORD is the everlasting God, 

   the Creator of the ends of the earth. 

He will not grow tired or weary, 

   and his understanding no one can fathom. 

He gives strength to the weary 

   and increases the power of the weak. 

Even youths grow tired and weary, 

   and young men stumble and fall; 

but those who hope in the LORD 

   will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles; 

   they will run and not grow weary, 

   they will walk and not be faint.

I'm waiting. For a lot of things, really. A lot of things that are out of my control. 

I'm waiting. For a door, maybe. So I can know where to go from here. 

I'm waiting. For a million answers. Answers that are probably better off unknown.

I'm waiting. For chances. Chances to live and breathe out of my comfort zone.

I'm waiting. To become my own person. So I can have the things my heart longs for.

I'm waiting. For the will of God. For the divine will that's much wiser than my own. 

I'm waiting. For a sign, or an arrow. So I don't have to make these decisions alone. 

I'm waiting. To be done waiting. So that I can know. So that I can breathe. So that I can see the finish line, the bigger picture, and the purpose for my waiting. 

I'm a lady in waiting, a damsel in distress. Waiting... and waiting, for her savior to sweep her off her feet. 

Inexpressible

This love. This joy. This peace.
It's a river flowing through my veins, quenching every vessel.
It's a fire burning in my heart, igniting every beat.
My heart breaks at the inability to tell it all.
My breath comes short to sing of His glory. 
My soul yearns for His presence.
It yearns to see His face, to kiss His lips, to be held in His arms.
My soul longs to rest at His feet, to serve Him humbly, to wash His feet with my tears.

Oh my God, there are no words.

Nothing can explain, nothing can contain, nothing can retain, nothing can detain this
overwhelming,
everlasting,
all consuming, 
never ending,
unrelenting,
beautiful,
graceful,
majestic,
peaceful, 
and satisfying 


love. 



For too long I thought of God as merely a deity, a far-off being that tells me what to do and that helps when I need Him. 
But He's so much more.
He's so much closer.
Closer than any human being could ever be. Closer than even my conscience. 
Closer than my own awareness of myself.
He's a part of me. We are one.
He lives inside of me. 
We are invited to have an intimate relationship with Him. 
He knows everything about us, and loves us anyway.
He is everything we've ever longed for. 
Every desire fulfilled.
He is the man of my dreams.
He is the very beat of my heart.
He is my first and last love. 
His deepest desire is to be the fulfillment of my deepest desires. 
He's a hopeless romantic.
He's mine, and I am His. 
He's the greatest love story of all time. 


And,
when we finally make it home, 
all these words that can't be uttered,
this love that can't be comprehended, 
the knowledge of the goodness of God,
and the unsearchable and unfathomable things of His love 
will all be revealed. 
As soon as we step into the glory of His presence,
understanding will hit us like a tidal wave. 
This fire that couldn't break out of my being before will consume me and I will see Him for who He is.
I will understand the depths of His love. 
I will finally be able to proclaim and express the deep and everlasting love and fullness of Him. 

And my only response will be to worship Him for the rest of eternity. 
And not even eternity will be long enough to sing of His glory. 

Job 5:18

Job 5:18

"For He wounds, but He also binds up; He injures, but His hands also heal."

Why do we wander through the wilderness?

                                           So that we find the Promise Land

Why do we go through famine?

                                           So we can have a harvest.

Why are we consumed by the fire?

                                           So life can be renewed.

Why are we wounded?

                                           So we can be healed.

Why do we experience winter?

                                           So we are blessed even more by the summer.

Why do we walk through darkness?

                                           So the light is so much brighter.

Why does everything change? 

                                           So we cling to the One who doesn't.

We experience the bad so that God's good is so much better.

God allows us to be broken so that He can reveal Himself as the ultimate healer.

He allows us to wander through the wilderness so that He can prove that He never forgot His promises.

He knows that without the darkness, we would never notice His light.

He knows that without the winter, we wouldn't appreciate His summer.

He knows that the only way to be renewed is through the fire. 

He knows that the regrowth is so much more beautiful when it comes from ashes. 

And He loves revealing Himself in the end. 

We're always surprised when He shows up. But He's not. 

He does it on purpose. His heart breaks with ours, but His joy abounds with ours when He gets to put the pieces back together in front of our awestruck eyes. 

He wrote the end of the story, along with every step it takes to get there. So why are we surprised when we realize that the steps we took really did have a purpose? Why are we surprised when He works it out?

He wants to empty us  of ourselves, so He can fill us to overflowing with Him.

He wants to make us so sick and tired of the food of this world that we realize our deeper hunger for Him. 

Through the healing of our broken hearts, they learn to beat for Him. 

We're out of breath from running away, so that His breath of life can fill our lungs. 

Our broken bones make us immobile so that He can carry us.

We hunger so He can satisfy.

We fall so He can pick us up.

We search so He can be found.

And we get lost so He can find us. 

God created the cycles of this life as a direct parallel to His everlasting love for us. So often we are blinded by the circumstances, and fail to see His plan being unfolded through them. 

Hallelujah.

And I saw, without really seeing that people are beautiful.

I love people watching. 
And I recently noticed that I look at people, but I don't see them.


I love smiling at strangers. 
I'll walk around campus or Walmart, and smile at everyone I walk by because I like the temporary joy I may give them; I like that I make them feel special, like they've been seen, even if it's for just a moment... but I never reallysee at them. 


Yes, I make eye contact and notice what they're wearing, how they walk, facial features, etc, but am I going to remember them the next time I smile at them on campus? Probably not. 


The other night, my soccer team and I were sitting around joking and talking. As we were laughing I looked at one of them, seeing her for the first time. I was so surprised that I hadn't before, I mean, I've been around her for almost 2 months. But there she was, the same person as every other time I'd looked at her, and I was seeing her for the first time. And I realized there was so much to see. So much that I had been too busy to notice, or too careless to make the effort to take in. 


I love people. And I'm disappointed that this has become a habit for me. 


Mostly, I hate airports because they stress me out, but the people in airports fascinate me. I want to know where they're going and why, where they're coming from and why, and who they're traveling with and why. 
Even driving around town, I see cars and wonder the same thing. Is their reason as simple as mine? Or is it much more interesting?




Everyone has a story. 
Everyone has something weighing on their mind. 
Everyone loves someone, hates someone, loves something, hates something. 
Everyone is so much more than what you look at on the outside. 
But if you really see someone, you'll see that they're just like you.
When you see someone, you see that you're really not alone in this world. 
You see that they're made up of cells and atoms, and wonderfully complex parts just like you. 
You see that they have a beating heart, broken maybe, or maybe perfectly content. 
You see that they have a mind with synapses, memories, emotions, etc, all different from anyone else in the universe. 
You see that they have opinions, beliefs, reasons, and motives. 
You see that they have a countless number of hairs on their body, a pigment that can never be exactly matched or recreated. 
You see that they have wrinkles, on their brow or on their cheek that hold stories of every frown they've ever frowned, and every smile they've ever smiled. 
You see that they're walking, going somewhere, toward a goal, toward a destination. 
You see that they have dreams, and wishes, and hopes, and prayers. 
You see that their feet and hands are calloused from years of hard, or not so hard, work.
You see that they have eyes that observe, scan, blink, cry, perceive, and speculate. Eyes nonidentical to any other. Eyes hard or soft, with stories. Eyes that are the window to their soul, the deepest part of their being. 
You see that they have senses. They look at scenes, they hear sounds, they touch textures, they smell scents, they taste flavors, and their perception of each of those things may be completely different than your own. 
You see that they're breathing. Their body requires oxygen to survive just like yours does.
You see that there are so many things unseen. Their struggles, their pain, their guilt. It's all there beneath the layers of clothing. 


You see that they walk, make eye contact, flash a simple smile, felt or fake, and they don't see you either. 




Wow, I feel small. All this time I foolishly thought without really thinking that I was the only one. But I'm just one in a sea of faces longing to be seen.

Bad Posture

I have really bad posture.


I slouch. And I lose my balance a lot. 


Every once in a while I'll remember to fix it. I pull my shoulders back, elongate my spine, and put my head on straight. Then, when it starts to hurt, or I get too lazy, or I just forget, I go right back to slouching. 


In the literal sense, that's completely true. It's also true for me in the spiritual sense:


I slouch and lose my balance. Every once in a while I'll realize and try to fix myself, then, because of laziness, discomfort, or forgetfulness, I go right back to walking around like a monkey.. 


My heart slouches. I don't like making it uncomfortable because that hurts.  

Psalm 97:11 

 Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.

My feet lose their balance. Because my heart slouches, I lose my way and trip. 

1 Corinthians 15:58 

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

If having good posture were my first priority, I wouldn't forget. Eventually, it would stop being uncomfortable and laziness would become unacceptable.  

I want an upright heart and firm unmoving feet. 

Psalm 37:23-24

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.

      He delights in every detail of their lives.

Though they stumble, they will never fall,

      for the Lord holds them by the hand.